I have noticed over the years that this practice really does change us. Sometimes it is in small, nearly imperceptible ways. But we change in larger ways as well: in the way we breathe, hold our bodies, and move through the world. The way our mind works seems to shift.

This is not a controllable change, however. In fact, it requires a great deal of letting go. When we talk about surrender in yoga, what we are often referring to is the surrender to this exact process: allowing the work of the practice create the healing, the inner transformation, without trying to control the outcome.

In essence, over the years the whole of who we are gets reworked. The subtle and physical, the mental and emotional— it all undergoes a cell by cell realignment. The energy we carry, the load we bring to our interactions in the world— it all starts to fall in line with what our practice cultivates and supports.

I know I used to be so much more reactive on the mat and off the mat; if it wasn’t clear from the outside, I know that internally my reactions were swift and colored by judgement. Suddenly (and not so suddenly), twenty or so years later, I find myself in a different space. There is less of the internal whirlwind when I get triggered— my reactions have softened, and other people’s experiences and emotions are less about me. I am still me, but somehow, more free. I feel much more stable and calm, but I feel more deeply, and care more. I could have never guessed this is where this practice could lead me.

This is the beauty of practice: we change but we don’t change, we are less reactive but more engaged, we embrace the messiness of life more and more and yet find the equanimity in the instability. Where will your practice take you?